Archives April 2020

Choosing to Thrive

This time of quarantine is not one any of us could have prepared for, and certainly meets the definition of adversity. Back up just a few months to the beginning of 2020 and none of us would have imagined the entire world (more or less) would be shut down – no travel, schools are closed, offices are closed. Only essential businesses are open. Now we all need to find a way to not only survive this pandemic, but hopefully to thrive through it. We should use this time to reflect, decide what’s truly important, and determine what parts of “normal” we really want to return to. It’s an opportunity to reset.

Seven people living on a 38’ sailboat for almost 6 years has given us some experience with isolation. Going out to eat or easy access to stores is not something we have. We typically do our own laundry in a bucket, make do with the food we have onboard, I cut everyone’s hair (including my own), and when we do go to the store, we take our dinghy to shore and then we walk. We spend a lot of time sailing and sitting in anchorages, sometimes with very few other people nearby. When we do meet up with other boats and other kids, there’s a chance they may not get along. Thankfully, they often do because boat kids love other boat kids – they instantly have something in common. When we go to shore, it’s usually a new place. We’re learning our way around, finding what’s available, figuring out a new currency, meeting new people (missionaries) and jumping in to their routines, and many times, it’s almost all in another language. 

We intentionally made the decision to downsize and squeeze into 380 square feet during Dennis’ last tour in the Navy. Two years later, after Dennis spent 21 years in the Navy, we felt it was time to for him to retire. Dennis had watched as the kids kept growing and he had been gone more than he had been home. He felt they were starting to drift away. We also felt God was calling us to something else and we wanted this new ministry to be something we did together as a family. The past 6 years haven’t been easy in a small space. We’re always in each other’s way, as one person literally has to move for another to pass. Emotions can run high and tempers can flare, but we also have to know how to resolve those conflicts and how to forgive. Our family is close, physically and emotionally. While we haven’t loved every minute of being in such confined quarters, we are so very glad we’ve had this opportunity to really know our kids – to be their friends, as well as their parents, to laugh together, learn together, and serve together. I hope that you all are seeing the positive aspect of this forced halt in your lives and have taken the opportunity to really get to know your family. 

I’ve been pulling together a list of resources and ideas that are helpful to us and may be helpful to many of you. We normally do not have access to wifi, just the small amount of data on our cell phones (3GB/month) when we are close enough to shore. Sitting in a marina (as the Mexican government has requested boats to limit movement) gives us access to wifi (still only about half the speed available in the US) and opens up a whole new experience for us. In fact, we feel LESS isolated now with the world moving to virtual meetings. Our older 3 are joining in on youth group and getting to do video chats with friends. Our oldest two are taking an online college course – we usually do our schoolwork the old fashioned way, with real books! Dennis and I are working on a course in member care, and we all get to join our churches back in the US for worship services. There are many wonderful things available to us all now, but make sure that you are spending more time together than time alone with a screen.

I divided the resources into four categories – Family Fun, Learning/Homeschooling, Relationships, and Other Resources. I’d love to add a book list too. Send me/comment below with some of your favorite books. Personally, I really enjoy historical fiction.

Family Fun

It’s easy to just sit around, binge watch Netflix, Disney+, or whatever. Eating snacks is easier than making healthy meals. In order to thrive, we must make plans – plan meals, make a schedule, be deliberate. If you need some time to mope (I get it, sometimes I just need a small pity party, do something mindless) then give yourself some time to mope, but then get up off the couch.

So, make some plans. Designate different nights for different activities. It’ll help the days go by and give everyone something to look forward to. We’re not saying spend every waking moment together, but plan some specific family activities. Older kids might balk at first, but they’ll come around.

  • Pick a tv series and watch it once a week: Remember when we could only watch our favorite show once a week and how much we looked forward to that? We just started watching The Dukes of Hazzard with our kids on Mondays. We also watch Little House on the Prairie another night. It’s a lot of fun to reminisce and share some of our childhood favorites with our kids.
  • Educational night: We watched an episode from PBS NOVA on how armor was made for knights. It was great and the kids can’t wait for our next educational night. We also enjoy watching Bear Grylls. You never know when you need some British Special Forces’ survival skills. 
  • Game night: Pick one of those long, time-consuming games, our family favorite is Settlers of Catan. A game of pounce (aka nertz) is great for fast moving, loud and crazy fun.
  • Movie Night: Some friends of ours at are excelling at this! Each of their kids gets to pick a theme, pick a movie, decorate, and they all come in costumes to match the theme. I am so impressed with their creativity! We just watch a movie and eat homemade pizza every Friday night. I’m feeling like a slacker.
  • Dining In: Want to go out to a restaurant? Make one at home! The kids can make a menu, cook (even young ones can put crackers and cheese on a plate or make a peanut butter sandwich), set the table, serve, and even clean up. Dress up and have fun!
  • Dinner: If you’re like me, making dinner every night feels exhausting! If you have older kids, assign them a night. You can help with the basic planning, let them know what you have available or what needs to be consumed soon, but let them look up some recipes and have at it.
  • Listen to a podcast: Here’s our favorite kid-friendly one, Red School Bus. We all love it! Dennis went to high school with James. This is one of our favorite episodes (right after we got to meet them in St. Louis for dinner). 
  • Backyard (or indoor) camping: Set up the tent (or a blanket fort inside), start a campfire, roast some hot dogs or marshmallows and sleep outside. Spend some time outside during the day too. Sunlight is a natural virus killer and great source of Vitamin D. 
  • Go out and stargaze: If you live somewhere without bright street lights, head outside with a telescope and stargazer app. If there are too many outside lights, find an online planetarium. And while you’re at it, check out NASA’s website. 

Learning/”Homeschooling”

Everything can be learning! This is one of the focuses of homeschooling. We make almost everything a learning experience. I keep seeing people say that their “…kids aren’t learning right now. This online school isn’t working. My kids don’t find it challenging.” This is especially true for young children. When Hope was 7, we were a part of an online charter school. They met for an online class 3 times a week. IT WAS AWFUL! They weren’t allowed to turn on their microphones and the teacher expected them to type their answers. Seven year olds typing answers, insert eye roll here. Even math problems were terrible. The teacher never gave them enough time to work out the problem and didn’t teach anything! I had to sit with her the entire time all while dealing with my other 4 (the twins were less than a year old!). Then the one hour online class would drag out to 2 to 3 hours because the teacher felt they didn’t cover enough. I can certainly see how many of you would be frustrated right now. Young kids are not designed to sit still at a computer and try to learn. Kids should be:

  • Moving – get outside if you can or come up with some physical games to play inside. Hullabaloo was one of my kids’ favorite indoor movement games when they were little, and they didn’t even need me! 
  • Reading, reading, reading! This is fundamental. Reading aloud to kids of all ages is so important! Have kids do a video call with grandparents and let them read Grandma a story, or vice versa if they are too young to read. Audio books are great also! Kids can illustrate the book as they listen. 
  • Drawing/coloring – who doesn’t love to draw/color? That’s precisely why they make adult coloring books! Pull out some paints and canvases and paint along with Bob Ross! He can take even the most stressed out person and have him smiling while painting “happy little trees.”
  • Writing (if they are old enough), telling stories, explaining how something works…written and oral communication are so important!
  • Cooking – following recipes includes a lot of math and is delicious quality time.

More resources for learning at home…

  • An adult TCK friend, daughter of missionary friends, and once our babysitter, wrote this set of 3 read-aloud coloring books to help parents explain the current situation with their children. Recommended for ages 4-7. Available for immediate download on etsy.
  • Virtual museum tours – Contrary to what many may think, homeschoolers do not sit at home all day. We go to museums, national parks, libraries, historical sites, and SO many other places. Since we can’t go to an actual museum, check out these two sites with links to virtual tours, Timeout and Travel and Leisure.
  • Learn something new – Find something your children enjoy and learn more about it. We’re all studying marine biology now. We’re learning about the oceans we live on and the animals that surround us. We’ve now added Oceans Initiative’s online marine biology camp to our syllabus. 
  • Check out this list of 1500 online courses. Some of these are available for a fee if you want to receive credit/certification. They have the courses listed by topic. There’s a course for practically anything you can think of. I even saw a course on poker strategy from MIT and another on wine! 
  • Travel virtually – Pick somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit. Find it on Google earth. Do some research, look up the top things to do there, find recipes and create a local meal from your chosen place. Read fictional and non-fictional books about that country or place. This book, Give Your Child the World by Jamie C. Martin, has some great ideas and lists books by age and place.  

Relationships

  • This is a trying time for many as we’re suddenly “stuck” at home with our family. Many are realizing that they don’t know their family or maybe even don’t like them. My parents’ church, Castleview Baptist, in Colorado, has been offering some great advice on those relationships during their online services through a series called, “Better Together.” Topics so far include, Husbands and Wives, Communication, and Cooperation in the Home. They are on live on Facebook every Sunday at 10:30am MDT.
  • Focus on the Family has some fabulous resources for couples, parents, strengthening/growing in your faith, and even ways to stay engaged in our culture. 
  • And one of my all time favorite book series for relationships – the Five Love Languages of…there’s a book for singles, couples, children, teens, and even a military edition. Gary Chapman has many other wonderful books available. 

Other Resources

  • Lindsay Braman put together a simple list to keep ourselves mentally in check while we’re home. Check out her site if you would like to print the checklist.
  • Looking for some good news? These videos are all about the good going on around us. They’re pretty funny too. 
  • TCK Training with Lauren Wells is offering a free 3 part series on helping kids work through Covid-19. She also has a 3 hour seminar coming up on May 2 on Raising Healthy TCKs. I took this seminar in February and learned a lot. It’s currently $49. Try code FEBLIVE for a 50% discount. I’m not sure if it still works, but it’s worth a try.
  • Free Growth in Crisis Series from Birch Rise Coaching (I have not personally watched these so I cannot give a recommendation either way, but wanted to share as it’s only available for a limited time.) 
  • Global Trellis put together a debriefing packet and videos designed to help us work through our experiences with Covid-19. This is aimed at the Christian worker.
  • Self-care for Missionaries during re-entry caused by the Coronavirus – another article by Sarita Hartz aimed specifically at missionaries.

If you’ve found some other sites and resources, please add them in the comment section below.

Feel free to share this list of resources on your Facebook pages and websites. Please use this link: https://ankyrios.org/2020/04/22/choosing-to-thrive/

Quarantined in Mexico

I’ve tried to sit down and write for several days now and the words just won’t come. When they do, it’s just a jumble – so many different directions that even I have trouble making sense of them all. So let’s just start with these two questions:

Where are you?

What are you doing?

When the US Department of State released the statement for all US citizens to return to the US or be prepared to shelter in place indefinitely, we had already discussed what we would do if the US issued such a statement since Canada already had. We know the safest place for us is on our boat. We’re mostly self-sufficient with our reverse osmosis water maker (even though it only makes 3.4 gallons per hour), our solar panels and wind generator. We can store quite a lot of food and we’re prepared to wait it out. But just how long might that be? “Indefinitely” could be a really, really long time.  

We’ve been heading north. It’s been slow going as the weather hasn’t been cooperating. We waited for 2 weeks in Costa Rica (sitting at anchor and only going ashore a few times – practicing quarantine before it was a thing). Then we waited in southern Mexico for another 2 weeks. We spent a few days in Zihuatenajo before we were able to sail another 200 miles north to where we are now, Barra de Navidad. We’re 100 miles short of La Cruz where we planned to reunite with several missionary friends, lots of boat friends, and Dennis planned to preach on Easter. And now, well, everything is closed, off limits, just like the rest of the world.

We’re still trying to go north. We think. At this point it’s mainly to be out of the hurricane zone before the season starts on May 15th. We’ve been here for a week waiting for our next window of agreeable weather to sail north. We came into the marina when we first arrived, planning for just a night or two. We were low on power and water. Our navigation and communication equipment pull so much power and when we’re sailing it has to be on 24/7. The direction we were sailing limited the amount of sun on our solar panels. We need power to run our water maker, so low power meant we didn’t make any water. The anchorage in Barra is located in a very muddy estuary so no making water there. When we arrived, the dock for transient boats had two other boats on it. A week later it has over 20 with only a few spaces left. We heard rumors that the ports were going to be closed so we kept our slip. Hurricane season starts in 6 weeks and the dock is much safer than at anchor. Of course being at the dock means we’re coming into contact with more people. We’ve all been practicing social distancing. We’re washing our hands constantly and taking showers daily. That’s so different than our normal routine of showering once or twice a week. That’s definitely a benefit of staying on the dock – unlimited water. Without a washing machine, we can only wash clothes a few at a time in a bucket. We’ve been alternating our clothes and hanging them on the lines in the sun and then washing after a few days. 

We’ve been weighing all our options – do we leave and go north? What if ports are closed while we’re enroute? Will we be able to get into a port? What will we find as we go north? Do we find an empty, secluded anchorage on some deserted island and wait this out? What if this lasts several months and we need more food? What if someone gets sick and we need medical care? We are stocked up on tylenol, cough medicine, inhalers, neubulizer meds, essential oils, and SO much other stuff. We have food to last probably 2-3 months if we are careful.

Two days ago the Mexican government issued an order to close all ports. Sailors are beginning to get nervous. “If we’re stuck here, we need a slip at the marina.” This marina is a designated hurricane hole, meaning the topography of the land provides protection from the brunt force of a hurricane. They took a direct hit in 2015 from a cat 5 hurricane and only suffered minimal damage. We were so glad we kept our slip and now our decision was made for us.

BUT then just a few hours later, a new order was issued that says private foreign flagged vessels are free to move from port to port within Mexico. Now we have a decision to make again. (Un)fortunately the next weather window is still looking like it’s a week away so we have time to go over the scenarios and make a decision. 

BUT then yesterday morning, the port captain here in Barra said all boats are to remain in port. We’re not sure if he just hasn’t seen the second order or if he has made his own decision. Irregardless, we do not plan to violate his order or do anything contrary to what the Mexican government declares. It’s changing moment by moment. The back and forth is mentally exhausting.

BUT if we stay here, we are smack in the middle of the hurricane zone. Our current insurance policy (which expires in August and the company is closing so we are working on find a new carrier) raises our deductible if we remain in the hurricane zone. It goes up from $2,000 to $40,000!! That’s not a typo. The boat is our home. If we lose it, we lose everything.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for the whole hurricane thing this could be an excellent place to be “stuck.” The marina is part of a huge and amazing resort. It’s almost completely shut down. The pools are open, and since they are chlorinated and we’re practically the only ones that go we’ve decided to let the kids keep going. We just discovered a business center with wifi. It’s empty too. The location is beautiful, warm during the day, but so much cooler than where we’ve been lately. I’ve actually taken warm showers for the first time in months! We’ve even turned off our fans at night and slept under covers. It only gets into the low 70s but we’ve acclimated to much higher temps so we’ve been cold. The virus is said to not like hot and humid climates so that’s good for us. The nearby small town has a few grocery stores and medical offices. It’s across the estuary so we remain even more isolated at the marina. There is a larger city about an hour away.

But those lingering questions keep popping up…are we safe from the virus here? Will we be safe from hurricanes here? Would we be safer if we do sail north and hide out away from as many people as possible? What is going to happen here in Mexico? There are so many unknowns. We’re praying God would make it clear. Please pray for us as we try to determine the best way to keep our family safe as we will continue praying for you.